i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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