at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
