I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
