i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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