But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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