Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
