Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
