K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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