Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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