So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
