I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I still have a little drunk in my system
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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