Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
do herpes really smell.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
