so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
