Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
