I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
