well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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