Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
