return my video game
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
