she was so not down for the gang bang
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
