Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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