there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
