You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
