quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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