I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I came so hard my ears popped.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
