It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
