This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
