I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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