I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
