does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
