so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How external is "for external use only"?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
