Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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