i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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