And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
