I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
