Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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