well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
