glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
