dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
