He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
