And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
