Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
