So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
