I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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