so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I want you more than these girls want KFC
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
