Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
