you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
