I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Watching her eat just hurts me
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Randomize
