it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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