I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
