I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
